Discussion - Member to Member Sales - Research Center
Discussion - Member to Member Sales - Research Center
Have you had issues with this in the past?
Karen
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Your post is very timely for me.
This is a relatively easy discussion to have if you are not facing death in the next few months. But I am here to tell you, it is a very hard thing to do if you are and the reason is simple. You have to admit to yourself and your family that you are going to die very soon; doing things like this feels like you are giving up and throwing in the towel.
And it extends beyond dispositioning your online relationships at what point do you start dispositioning your stamps? I do not want to burden my family with a room full of material yet I feel that I would be signaling to them (and myself) that the time is here.
A few weeks ago my Duke doctors told me my cancer has gone metastatic (metastasized to some lymph nodes) and there was nothing more they could do for me at Duke. I am a bit acclimated to this kind of bad news because they have been telling me for two years that I was ‘a dead man walking’. But I consider myself the luckiest man alive to be blessed with the time I have been given and the most incredible wife who has been my best friend for 40 years.
Just today I had an operation to facilitate the administration of a new immunotherapy drug that, while an incredible long shot, offers a sliver of hope. If I start dispositioning everything now it would absolutely stress my wife out; the very last thing she needs now is for me to pull the rug out from beneath her hope. It is a very, very hard decision and I welcome anyone who has any insight into this topic.
Don
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Don, wishing only the best for you and yours. Hang in there.
I've been faced with death twice in my life. First was a car accident in my early 20's, the other a stroke at 49. The car wreck, I don't remember much about, by the time I woke up, I was pretty much out of danger. The stroke on the other hand, I was fully aware of. For me, I found comfort in the idea that if it was my time, so be it. It's human nature to fight back, but being anxious about something, that in the end, is inevitable for all living things, never made any sense to me.
Like Don, I have a wonderful wife.(and family) We lost a son back in 1998 and she was amazingly strong and I know she'd be okay if anything happened to me. I only wish I could apply my own logic where she's concerned, because I know that I would NOT be okay.
I fully recovered from both incidents and now know a little more about myself. I would still fight the good fight, but nobody should live their lives being afraid of what comes next.
As to the OP, my wife and kids know exactly what to do when the time comes.
WB
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Don, sorry to hear this news, and hope that the treatments work out for the better for you and your family. Karen, I hope that the same reason isn't the cause for your post...
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Although I am in good health, I am well aware that something could happen any day, like an accident. In order to be prepared I created a list with all important sites and the associated usernames/passwords and made sure my wife knows where it is. It is mainly for financial matters, like online banking, insurance, tax etc. and access to email but the access codes for stamporama are also included.
I have not prepared any instructions on what to do with my stamps and frankly I do not care. It is my hobby and if those who are left behind decide to give it away, sell it or whatever is up to them. I only explained once that there is a big difference between replacement value and selling value, and that they should not be fooled by catalogue values.
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Don,
I am sorry to hear about your physical state, and warmed to the core with your internal state. God bless, and I'll ask again and again for you.
I'm going through this with my parents. We started a decade ago, outlining the scope of my duties as executor, and have continued as my dad's health deteriorated.
the beauty of it was our ability to talk about what we didn't want to talk about, and we're a pretty closed-mouth family, so, in some ways, talking about what I'm to do was very good.
David
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Thanks for the kind words and warm thoughts. I have lived a great life with few regrets for my 59 years. This experience has allowed me to meet some of the most incredible young people at Duke Cancer Care Center. Please say a prayer for these truly remarkable kids, they have not hurt anyone else, have faced more tribulations than any of us should ever have to face, and yet maintain their humor and compassion for life.
In terms of possible solutions to the disposition issue....
A few months back I decided to develop a quick and simple form that might help folks by providing instructions for dispositioning their albums. Of course this is not supposed to replace a Will or more formal documentation but I was looking for something a bit more flexible and easy to use. (My thinking was that we often ‘put off’ doing more formal Wills and Power of Attorneys.) Here is the link to the form. The intent is to fill the form in with your desires, insert the completed form into the front of any album, then family members will have some instructions on how to disposition it if you are not around.
http://www.stampsmarter.com/learning/FormAlbumDisposition.html
Don
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01:19:10am
Due to my medical issues I've had a will since I was in my mid-20s. After my Mum passed away in 2015 (may she rest in peace), I revised it. While my collection is not included in the will itself just in case I personally sell it off before my album closes, my lawyer suggested a separate paper that gives clear instructions on selling my collection - who to contact, highlights of my collection that would be of interest to auction houses as opposed to dealers, considering brick and mortar dealers are becoming more scarce, it would be harder for them to turn over the higher items and get enough money left to my estate for the specific reasons that are listed in my will for disposal of any property.
Having this separate page also permits me to make changes over the years as either my collection grows or auction houses/dealers go out of business.
This is very good advice - having things laid out separate to the will - this applies to any collection or jewelry, etc.
As to the computer, I must admit that I've been lackadaisical about providing a copy of passwords etc. I did plan to do so before my last surgery but it was immediately following the passing of my Mum and it slipped my mind. This post is actually a very good reminder to prepare that.
I don't want my collection just dumped in the garbage because I know the monies gained from selling it, regardless of how large or small will be very helpful to the persons listed in the will.
I will be 44 soon but my medical history is fraught with fragility so I've learnt that the inevitable could occur any time. My Mum's only "dream" was that she would live to see me become am adult. She had that blessing and even became a grandma for the first time as my brother had his son much later. It was her blessing and my heartache but for hers and my Dad's sake, I'm grateful to still be here despite the odds against me.
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This turns out to be a very good, important discussion. Thanks for bringing it up, and good luck / best wishes to all who are in a difficult situation!
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An interesting topic, which has led me to think about how I store my stamps. The reason being that I do not believe the value of my collection as sold by my heiress will bring enough value to make it worth her while.
On the other hand, and a much happier prospect, is that my future (still just twinkles in my eyes) grandson or granddaughter will pick up the hobby, with my collection - presumably still in good shape - as a wonderful starting point.
Now, how to arrange for proper storage before I shuffle off this mortal coil, with the thought in mind that I could be suddenly engulfed in molten lava from a hitherto unsuspected active volcano, as I mosey down to the corner mailbox to collect my SOR auction wins.
I am partway there with my current storage, but need to give this much more thought.
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I would like to know if most of you have trained your family or spouse how to use stamporama in case of death or illness. I would hate to leave everyone hanging and not know why they haven't been invoiced or received their stamps in the mail.
Have you had issues with this in the past?
Karen
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re: Family business
Your post is very timely for me.
This is a relatively easy discussion to have if you are not facing death in the next few months. But I am here to tell you, it is a very hard thing to do if you are and the reason is simple. You have to admit to yourself and your family that you are going to die very soon; doing things like this feels like you are giving up and throwing in the towel.
And it extends beyond dispositioning your online relationships at what point do you start dispositioning your stamps? I do not want to burden my family with a room full of material yet I feel that I would be signaling to them (and myself) that the time is here.
A few weeks ago my Duke doctors told me my cancer has gone metastatic (metastasized to some lymph nodes) and there was nothing more they could do for me at Duke. I am a bit acclimated to this kind of bad news because they have been telling me for two years that I was ‘a dead man walking’. But I consider myself the luckiest man alive to be blessed with the time I have been given and the most incredible wife who has been my best friend for 40 years.
Just today I had an operation to facilitate the administration of a new immunotherapy drug that, while an incredible long shot, offers a sliver of hope. If I start dispositioning everything now it would absolutely stress my wife out; the very last thing she needs now is for me to pull the rug out from beneath her hope. It is a very, very hard decision and I welcome anyone who has any insight into this topic.
Don
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re: Family business
Don, wishing only the best for you and yours. Hang in there.
I've been faced with death twice in my life. First was a car accident in my early 20's, the other a stroke at 49. The car wreck, I don't remember much about, by the time I woke up, I was pretty much out of danger. The stroke on the other hand, I was fully aware of. For me, I found comfort in the idea that if it was my time, so be it. It's human nature to fight back, but being anxious about something, that in the end, is inevitable for all living things, never made any sense to me.
Like Don, I have a wonderful wife.(and family) We lost a son back in 1998 and she was amazingly strong and I know she'd be okay if anything happened to me. I only wish I could apply my own logic where she's concerned, because I know that I would NOT be okay.
I fully recovered from both incidents and now know a little more about myself. I would still fight the good fight, but nobody should live their lives being afraid of what comes next.
As to the OP, my wife and kids know exactly what to do when the time comes.
WB
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this post
re: Family business
Don, sorry to hear this news, and hope that the treatments work out for the better for you and your family. Karen, I hope that the same reason isn't the cause for your post...
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Auctions - Approvals
re: Family business
Although I am in good health, I am well aware that something could happen any day, like an accident. In order to be prepared I created a list with all important sites and the associated usernames/passwords and made sure my wife knows where it is. It is mainly for financial matters, like online banking, insurance, tax etc. and access to email but the access codes for stamporama are also included.
I have not prepared any instructions on what to do with my stamps and frankly I do not care. It is my hobby and if those who are left behind decide to give it away, sell it or whatever is up to them. I only explained once that there is a big difference between replacement value and selling value, and that they should not be fooled by catalogue values.
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this post
Auctions
re: Family business
Don,
I am sorry to hear about your physical state, and warmed to the core with your internal state. God bless, and I'll ask again and again for you.
I'm going through this with my parents. We started a decade ago, outlining the scope of my duties as executor, and have continued as my dad's health deteriorated.
the beauty of it was our ability to talk about what we didn't want to talk about, and we're a pretty closed-mouth family, so, in some ways, talking about what I'm to do was very good.
David
1 Member
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Login to Like.
re: Family business
Thanks for the kind words and warm thoughts. I have lived a great life with few regrets for my 59 years. This experience has allowed me to meet some of the most incredible young people at Duke Cancer Care Center. Please say a prayer for these truly remarkable kids, they have not hurt anyone else, have faced more tribulations than any of us should ever have to face, and yet maintain their humor and compassion for life.
In terms of possible solutions to the disposition issue....
A few months back I decided to develop a quick and simple form that might help folks by providing instructions for dispositioning their albums. Of course this is not supposed to replace a Will or more formal documentation but I was looking for something a bit more flexible and easy to use. (My thinking was that we often ‘put off’ doing more formal Wills and Power of Attorneys.) Here is the link to the form. The intent is to fill the form in with your desires, insert the completed form into the front of any album, then family members will have some instructions on how to disposition it if you are not around.
http://www.stampsmarter.com/learning/FormAlbumDisposition.html
Don
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A Service Dog gives a person with a disability independence. Never approach, distract or pet a working dog, especially when (s)he is in harness. Never be afraid to ask questions to the handler (parent).
06 Apr 2017
01:19:10am
re: Family business
Due to my medical issues I've had a will since I was in my mid-20s. After my Mum passed away in 2015 (may she rest in peace), I revised it. While my collection is not included in the will itself just in case I personally sell it off before my album closes, my lawyer suggested a separate paper that gives clear instructions on selling my collection - who to contact, highlights of my collection that would be of interest to auction houses as opposed to dealers, considering brick and mortar dealers are becoming more scarce, it would be harder for them to turn over the higher items and get enough money left to my estate for the specific reasons that are listed in my will for disposal of any property.
Having this separate page also permits me to make changes over the years as either my collection grows or auction houses/dealers go out of business.
This is very good advice - having things laid out separate to the will - this applies to any collection or jewelry, etc.
As to the computer, I must admit that I've been lackadaisical about providing a copy of passwords etc. I did plan to do so before my last surgery but it was immediately following the passing of my Mum and it slipped my mind. This post is actually a very good reminder to prepare that.
I don't want my collection just dumped in the garbage because I know the monies gained from selling it, regardless of how large or small will be very helpful to the persons listed in the will.
I will be 44 soon but my medical history is fraught with fragility so I've learnt that the inevitable could occur any time. My Mum's only "dream" was that she would live to see me become am adult. She had that blessing and even became a grandma for the first time as my brother had his son much later. It was her blessing and my heartache but for hers and my Dad's sake, I'm grateful to still be here despite the odds against me.
3 Members
like this post.
Login to Like.
Auctions - Approvals
re: Family business
This turns out to be a very good, important discussion. Thanks for bringing it up, and good luck / best wishes to all who are in a difficult situation!
Login to Like
this post
05:02:09pm
re: Family business
An interesting topic, which has led me to think about how I store my stamps. The reason being that I do not believe the value of my collection as sold by my heiress will bring enough value to make it worth her while.
On the other hand, and a much happier prospect, is that my future (still just twinkles in my eyes) grandson or granddaughter will pick up the hobby, with my collection - presumably still in good shape - as a wonderful starting point.
Now, how to arrange for proper storage before I shuffle off this mortal coil, with the thought in mind that I could be suddenly engulfed in molten lava from a hitherto unsuspected active volcano, as I mosey down to the corner mailbox to collect my SOR auction wins.
I am partway there with my current storage, but need to give this much more thought.
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