Discussion - Member to Member Sales - Research Center
Discussion - Member to Member Sales - Research Center
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My father and my mother's three brothers all served with stints in Korea, two tours in Viet Nam, Germany, and even Iwo Jima between them. My Dad's brother did go to a teacher's college but died of cancer a year after completing college while serving as a teacher in an extremely rural elementary school (they would shutdown during the fall harvest so the kids could help their parents with gathering crops) and my grandmother finished out the school year for him at the school so the children would have a teacher by coming out of retirement. Out of eight children in my grandmother's family six became teachers.
It is quite fascinating how lives and experiences tie together.
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Phil,
I know it seems awkward to be thanked for your service, I am also a vet, just a little younger then you. I think that when young people show respect it is a good thing, good parenting. I was a Philadelphia Firefighter for thirty years after four in the Navy/Marines, I always liked when a stranger would come up and thank me, very humbling experience.
Anytime I see a person in uniform be it military, police or fire I make sure to thank them for their service. I also thank a vet when they are wearing a ball cap indicating they served in the Armed Forces.
A little respect goes a long way.
Vince
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I agree. It's just a sign of respect and good upbringing.
Although when someone says "Sir" to me, I turn and look behind me for my father who served in WWII.
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That practice seems weird to me. The use of that saying seems like such a platitude compared to the sacrifice that many veterans undergo. I feel like it is better to simply treat a veteran with respect than to say "thank you for your service". The saying seems more like something to make the person saying it feel better about themselves than to actually thank a veteran for their service.
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You are 100% correct Smauggie, I do feel better for thanking people who put their life on the line for me, and you.
That's not the reason I do it. I Do it because it is the right thing to do. Try it some time, it won't cost you anything to be grateful and thank someone for their service, it's not about you.
Vince
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Thanks for the responses..i will back up just a bit...when i was a senior in High school my father took me to the IBM plant in Kingston,New York where he worked. I saw this huge building probably two football fields in length, Kingston was manufacturing typewriters at the time and there were rows of men in aprons(no women) sitting at rows of benches and each one was doing some small task on the typewriter..some of the men were actually whistling as they worked. I was TERRIFIED...after years of being bored in high school..there was no way i was going to spend my life sitting at one of those benchs. The service seemed a better alternative.
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"it won't cost you anything to be grateful"
You assume way too much. That's all I can say and be civil.
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I don't assume too much. Being grateful never cost me anything, I speak from my own experience.
I am being civil, if you don't feel you should thank the people who put their lives on hold and on the line that is your business. Me being grateful is my business.
I also know from my experience that it does make difference when I was thanked during my military and fire department career. As I said in a previous post it is a humbling experience.
I also know from experience that sometimes that kind word to someone who does choose to make service a career can be life changing. There are too many vets, police and firefighters are losing their lives everyday because they feel that they don't make a difference and choose to take their own lives. You (not you personally) may never know how a kind word or a gesture gratitude can effect another's life. I do it because I believe it makes a difference, to them and my self.
Vince
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Fact is, it can go two different directions. Last week I went to meet with a customer and noticed he had a Veterans tag on his car. During my visit I thanked him for his service and not only did he seem thankful for the gesture, but began telling me stories from his experiences in the army.
However, about a year ago while meeting with a different customer, I noticed a Viet Nam service hat hanging on a hook behind a door. I thanked him for his service and he rather sternly replied, "I don't want to talk about it".
In both cases I meant nothing less then respect and gratitude, but the reactions were totally different.
WB
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I owe my life a number of times over to the service of those in the armed forces. A stupid platitude is quite insufficient to express my gratitude and in fact I would feel like I would be insulting someone if I said that to them. You assumed that I was unwilling to express gratitude, that is where you assumed way too much, to the point of being offensive.
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I will note that WB documents two different responses to the same outreach.
I will also note that others have different responses to the idea of expressing thanks.
And I will suggest that talking about one's own response to something is generally fine; giving directions to others on how they should act, unless it's about Scotch tape and stamps, is often unlikely to find a willing ear, and I strongly discourage it.
This started off as an interesting, a-patriotic reminiscence that, like its writer, occupies complex territory. It's morphed into something that is now causing unease.
David
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Between dialysis and chemo I hang around a LOT of vets. Since I have known most of them for several years, I thank them for their service on special days like Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and 4th of July. All of them seem to genuinely appreciate the sentiment. I do not thank them during our typical daily casual conversations.
But given 200+ medical procedures per year I also have the opportunity to thank the health caregivers who help me. So at least 3-4 time per week I say ‘thank you so much, you make a real difference in our lives’. All of them seem to genuinely appreciate the sentiment.
Frankly I rely upon these folks to keep me alive and because I spend so much time watching them do their jobs I understand what they deal with on a daily basis. The majority of people they deal with are older folks (with lower social boundaries) who can often be quite pushy and even nasty at times. Many of us patients are also feeling bad and/or are in pain; making it even more likely to be snarky with the caregivers.
So I work hard to not be one of those snarky patients and remain upbeat and positive even when I feel like crap. And I truly appreciate the difficulties of their jobs. Every morning the nurses have to ask each of us ‘how do you feel’ (it is a part of their daily assessment) …I always say ‘I am amazing’ or ‘I am outstanding’. So to avoid being redundant, I use a new adjective each morning. After a while I was challenged by the nurses to come up with unique, positive adjective each day. I ran through the 15-20 English words I could think of and needed a new strategy. So I moved on to a new foreign language adjective each day. This has taught me many new words and the nurses get a kick out of this break from the daily routine.
For me, my life is to short too be worried that someone else might look upon what I say as cheap platitudes. If they do, I can not change what goes on in their heads. I can only control what I do and say and I know that I am sincere in my appreciation and gratitude whether it is for vets or health caregivers.
Don
Edit: Doh. Posted in wrong thread, now fixed. Sorry.
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Something I'll never forget- about 8-9 years ago (when I still owned the store) I thanked a local WWII vet for his service on Veteran's Day. To my surprise he walked off and went to his truck in the parking lot. A minute or so later I could tell he was sobbing. I felt badly. He drove off a few minutes later. He was a daily customer and one I spoke to regularly so I had heard him speak of his time in the army. He was stationed stateside, out west somewhere in the desert testing tanks and military vehicles under extreme conditions and never saw "battlefront action." When his son came in later that evening I told him what happened and apologized if I did anything wrong. He said his dad had spoken to him. He said it was the first time in a long time anyone outside his family had thanked him for his service. Marvin died a few years after that (he was 92!) but we shared an almost daily dialog at the store from that day on. So, I guess it carries more importance with some than others. But from that day on I have made it a point to thank Veterans on Veteran's Day.
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Vince, Vince, Vince...you fell for a Philb classic tee up LOL.... Remember the one where he was like, "so, yeah I remember as a younger man walking through Mississippi...". 
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Since I am German, I can 100% most definitely say, Thanks to all the Allied forces for freeing my country of the most disgusting government that has ever been seen on this planet. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you
Manfred
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Thanks, Manfred.
That echoes my own experience as a Brit born in 1944 of meeting and taking with Germans of similar age in the 1980s and 90s, when I visited Bavaria several times for work reasons. They all wanted to talk about National Socialism and the post war era of DDR - my evening class German couldn't keep up! but their English was a lot better. We were told "Don't mention the war" but that was all they wanted to talk about.
And as for the vets - my dad was in WW1, on the Somme, in the artillery. He never talked about the war - it was too painful. After his death in 1966, I came by his diary from that period - few details, just grim.
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My uncles on both sides of my family all served during World War 2. They never discussed things they thought might be inappropriate. I know my one uncle was one of the 14,000 G.I.s absent without leave in Paris at one time. I do not think his commanding officer was too tough on him.
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I think that there has been a sea-change toward the military here in the UK, particularly among the young, since the "adventures" in Iraq and Afghanistan and the subsequent terrorism incidents.
There was a time when the military were considered "imperialists". particularly at a time-distance from conflict. Today they are seen much more as protectors and the cynicism has dissipated a bit - this being reserved from governments (of all persuasions) who put the servicemen in harms way. Also it helps that all service personnel are now volunteers - no conscription. There are now thousands of people who have family,friends and acquaintances who have been killed and wounded in recent conflicts, and the "2 minute silence" on the 11th November is better observed that it was in the days of my youth.
I was a young man at the time of the Vietnam war, and I was disgusted by the attitude of many Americans toward the men in the field. If you must blame someone blame the politicians not the men who face death, on their behalf. It has to be said that the song "Universal Soldier" did not help.
I have respect for servicemen and the public emergency services, but also for the purely voluntary rescue services, like the lifeboat crews,mountain and cave rescue teams and the Coastguard volunteers who put their lives at risk for others.
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Universal soldier, Buffy's explanation?
http://buffysainte-marie.com/?p=809
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Auctions
I find it a bit awkward when people say "thank you for your service". I come from a time when if you did not attend teachers college it was a given that you would serve in the armed forces. But i forget that 50 years have gone by since the cold war and the Southeast Asian war. Generations have grown up without the draft..so except for volunteers the majority of men have not enjoyed the right of passage that the military allowed. I was no patriot or angel and yet looking back i was treated very fairly. I did not take advantage of educational opportunities that many fellows i know now were smart enough to take. I put in my time and have no regrets ..well mabe a bit when a 20 year old thanks me for my service.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
My father and my mother's three brothers all served with stints in Korea, two tours in Viet Nam, Germany, and even Iwo Jima between them. My Dad's brother did go to a teacher's college but died of cancer a year after completing college while serving as a teacher in an extremely rural elementary school (they would shutdown during the fall harvest so the kids could help their parents with gathering crops) and my grandmother finished out the school year for him at the school so the children would have a teacher by coming out of retirement. Out of eight children in my grandmother's family six became teachers.
It is quite fascinating how lives and experiences tie together.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
Phil,
I know it seems awkward to be thanked for your service, I am also a vet, just a little younger then you. I think that when young people show respect it is a good thing, good parenting. I was a Philadelphia Firefighter for thirty years after four in the Navy/Marines, I always liked when a stranger would come up and thank me, very humbling experience.
Anytime I see a person in uniform be it military, police or fire I make sure to thank them for their service. I also thank a vet when they are wearing a ball cap indicating they served in the Armed Forces.
A little respect goes a long way.
Vince
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re: Thank Me for my service?
I agree. It's just a sign of respect and good upbringing.
Although when someone says "Sir" to me, I turn and look behind me for my father who served in WWII.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
That practice seems weird to me. The use of that saying seems like such a platitude compared to the sacrifice that many veterans undergo. I feel like it is better to simply treat a veteran with respect than to say "thank you for your service". The saying seems more like something to make the person saying it feel better about themselves than to actually thank a veteran for their service.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
You are 100% correct Smauggie, I do feel better for thanking people who put their life on the line for me, and you.
That's not the reason I do it. I Do it because it is the right thing to do. Try it some time, it won't cost you anything to be grateful and thank someone for their service, it's not about you.
Vince
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Auctions
re: Thank Me for my service?
Thanks for the responses..i will back up just a bit...when i was a senior in High school my father took me to the IBM plant in Kingston,New York where he worked. I saw this huge building probably two football fields in length, Kingston was manufacturing typewriters at the time and there were rows of men in aprons(no women) sitting at rows of benches and each one was doing some small task on the typewriter..some of the men were actually whistling as they worked. I was TERRIFIED...after years of being bored in high school..there was no way i was going to spend my life sitting at one of those benchs. The service seemed a better alternative.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
"it won't cost you anything to be grateful"
You assume way too much. That's all I can say and be civil.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
I don't assume too much. Being grateful never cost me anything, I speak from my own experience.
I am being civil, if you don't feel you should thank the people who put their lives on hold and on the line that is your business. Me being grateful is my business.
I also know from my experience that it does make difference when I was thanked during my military and fire department career. As I said in a previous post it is a humbling experience.
I also know from experience that sometimes that kind word to someone who does choose to make service a career can be life changing. There are too many vets, police and firefighters are losing their lives everyday because they feel that they don't make a difference and choose to take their own lives. You (not you personally) may never know how a kind word or a gesture gratitude can effect another's life. I do it because I believe it makes a difference, to them and my self.
Vince
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re: Thank Me for my service?
Fact is, it can go two different directions. Last week I went to meet with a customer and noticed he had a Veterans tag on his car. During my visit I thanked him for his service and not only did he seem thankful for the gesture, but began telling me stories from his experiences in the army.
However, about a year ago while meeting with a different customer, I noticed a Viet Nam service hat hanging on a hook behind a door. I thanked him for his service and he rather sternly replied, "I don't want to talk about it".
In both cases I meant nothing less then respect and gratitude, but the reactions were totally different.
WB
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re: Thank Me for my service?
I owe my life a number of times over to the service of those in the armed forces. A stupid platitude is quite insufficient to express my gratitude and in fact I would feel like I would be insulting someone if I said that to them. You assumed that I was unwilling to express gratitude, that is where you assumed way too much, to the point of being offensive.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
I will note that WB documents two different responses to the same outreach.
I will also note that others have different responses to the idea of expressing thanks.
And I will suggest that talking about one's own response to something is generally fine; giving directions to others on how they should act, unless it's about Scotch tape and stamps, is often unlikely to find a willing ear, and I strongly discourage it.
This started off as an interesting, a-patriotic reminiscence that, like its writer, occupies complex territory. It's morphed into something that is now causing unease.
David
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re: Thank Me for my service?
Between dialysis and chemo I hang around a LOT of vets. Since I have known most of them for several years, I thank them for their service on special days like Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and 4th of July. All of them seem to genuinely appreciate the sentiment. I do not thank them during our typical daily casual conversations.
But given 200+ medical procedures per year I also have the opportunity to thank the health caregivers who help me. So at least 3-4 time per week I say ‘thank you so much, you make a real difference in our lives’. All of them seem to genuinely appreciate the sentiment.
Frankly I rely upon these folks to keep me alive and because I spend so much time watching them do their jobs I understand what they deal with on a daily basis. The majority of people they deal with are older folks (with lower social boundaries) who can often be quite pushy and even nasty at times. Many of us patients are also feeling bad and/or are in pain; making it even more likely to be snarky with the caregivers.
So I work hard to not be one of those snarky patients and remain upbeat and positive even when I feel like crap. And I truly appreciate the difficulties of their jobs. Every morning the nurses have to ask each of us ‘how do you feel’ (it is a part of their daily assessment) …I always say ‘I am amazing’ or ‘I am outstanding’. So to avoid being redundant, I use a new adjective each morning. After a while I was challenged by the nurses to come up with unique, positive adjective each day. I ran through the 15-20 English words I could think of and needed a new strategy. So I moved on to a new foreign language adjective each day. This has taught me many new words and the nurses get a kick out of this break from the daily routine.
For me, my life is to short too be worried that someone else might look upon what I say as cheap platitudes. If they do, I can not change what goes on in their heads. I can only control what I do and say and I know that I am sincere in my appreciation and gratitude whether it is for vets or health caregivers.
Don
Edit: Doh. Posted in wrong thread, now fixed. Sorry.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
Something I'll never forget- about 8-9 years ago (when I still owned the store) I thanked a local WWII vet for his service on Veteran's Day. To my surprise he walked off and went to his truck in the parking lot. A minute or so later I could tell he was sobbing. I felt badly. He drove off a few minutes later. He was a daily customer and one I spoke to regularly so I had heard him speak of his time in the army. He was stationed stateside, out west somewhere in the desert testing tanks and military vehicles under extreme conditions and never saw "battlefront action." When his son came in later that evening I told him what happened and apologized if I did anything wrong. He said his dad had spoken to him. He said it was the first time in a long time anyone outside his family had thanked him for his service. Marvin died a few years after that (he was 92!) but we shared an almost daily dialog at the store from that day on. So, I guess it carries more importance with some than others. But from that day on I have made it a point to thank Veterans on Veteran's Day.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
Vince, Vince, Vince...you fell for a Philb classic tee up LOL.... Remember the one where he was like, "so, yeah I remember as a younger man walking through Mississippi...".
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re: Thank Me for my service?
Since I am German, I can 100% most definitely say, Thanks to all the Allied forces for freeing my country of the most disgusting government that has ever been seen on this planet. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you
Manfred
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Thanks, Manfred.
That echoes my own experience as a Brit born in 1944 of meeting and taking with Germans of similar age in the 1980s and 90s, when I visited Bavaria several times for work reasons. They all wanted to talk about National Socialism and the post war era of DDR - my evening class German couldn't keep up! but their English was a lot better. We were told "Don't mention the war" but that was all they wanted to talk about.
And as for the vets - my dad was in WW1, on the Somme, in the artillery. He never talked about the war - it was too painful. After his death in 1966, I came by his diary from that period - few details, just grim.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
My uncles on both sides of my family all served during World War 2. They never discussed things they thought might be inappropriate. I know my one uncle was one of the 14,000 G.I.s absent without leave in Paris at one time. I do not think his commanding officer was too tough on him.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
I think that there has been a sea-change toward the military here in the UK, particularly among the young, since the "adventures" in Iraq and Afghanistan and the subsequent terrorism incidents.
There was a time when the military were considered "imperialists". particularly at a time-distance from conflict. Today they are seen much more as protectors and the cynicism has dissipated a bit - this being reserved from governments (of all persuasions) who put the servicemen in harms way. Also it helps that all service personnel are now volunteers - no conscription. There are now thousands of people who have family,friends and acquaintances who have been killed and wounded in recent conflicts, and the "2 minute silence" on the 11th November is better observed that it was in the days of my youth.
I was a young man at the time of the Vietnam war, and I was disgusted by the attitude of many Americans toward the men in the field. If you must blame someone blame the politicians not the men who face death, on their behalf. It has to be said that the song "Universal Soldier" did not help.
I have respect for servicemen and the public emergency services, but also for the purely voluntary rescue services, like the lifeboat crews,mountain and cave rescue teams and the Coastguard volunteers who put their lives at risk for others.
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re: Thank Me for my service?
Universal soldier, Buffy's explanation?
http://buffysainte-marie.com/?p=809
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